Fat and sassy, yo.

My friend Davey said my spirit animal was a pizza Pegasus with Doritos wings. However, if someone at my Doritos wings, I'd be the best pizza horse. We thought it'd make a great Valentine's Day Card.
I drew this on a napkin at work. I don't think it needs to be retouched at all.

Imagine the commercials!

His water gun is filled with hot sauce.

Just go, man. No one's ever in your bed anyway.

I feel like these should just go in sequential order. It's only fair.

Na'vi, go away! I don't need your help, for fucksake!

That bird WAS cute.
5 seconds ago...

And thus began the continuous ruining of bird-eating holidays everywhere.

Rock fucking bottom.

So stop trying to tell me about them.

None at all.
Notice how I shaded her skin in!? It's because she's black and that how white people grapple with race issues! Neat!

A big thank you

To a gentleman named Jay. He sent me a message wanting me to continue to post my doodles. I suppose it's not something I was only doing for myself. And as much as I'm ok with it being just that, it always helps when you have the adoration of other people.

Thanks, Jay. I don't know you at all, but I appreciate the kind words.

Yep

BATHE! FOR KIDS! AND FRIENDS! AND EVERYONE!
PLEASE!

Nothing tastes quite as good and meals in your own private stall.

Fun fact: I drew some of this with my left hand.

So desperate it hurts.

Guys, take him seriously! He has no intentions of going to grad school and did his final project on reworking zombie movie posters. He's so worth the raise. He's an asset to your company... Kind of! Hey, at least he always goes on coffee runs.

It's ok, big wheel kid. Life isn't always going to be awful.

I'd recommend cutting that hair, though. It couldn't hurt your chances.